my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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