Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I will be naked everywhere
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Randomize
