Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
