I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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