Non-Jews are for practice
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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