smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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