Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Randomize