Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Randomize
