And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
