I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Randomize
