You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Randomize