did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
