How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
