it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Randomize