She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
