I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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