you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Randomize
