Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize