Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
