this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
