I love black thongs
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
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