I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
All I want is dick and wine.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
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