I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
