She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
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