And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Randomize
