Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
