My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
