hell yes lets make some ravioli
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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