Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
