The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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