Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
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