Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Randomize
