drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
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