I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize