Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
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