some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Randomize