I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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