Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
