you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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