walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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