so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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