True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
