It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
i just made my gag reflex go away.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Randomize
