Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
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