How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Randomize
