I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
There's even glitter on my cock...
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