Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
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