I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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