Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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