i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
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