I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
