Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
soo... how was my night?
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