It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
we're so committed to being not committed
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
