I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
