I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
