She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize
