She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
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