When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
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