Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
You ruined the universe
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Randomize
