Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Randomize
