I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
