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Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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